The One Month Countdown Is On
One month until this little one is due . . .
One month until I won’t have to call it “it” anymore . . . one month until I can kiss its little cheeks . . . and have its little fingers curl around mine. One month until I see if it really resembles Mike as much as it does in this picture and one month until I see if we will be buying a lot of pink . . . or a lot of blue. One month until I get to see Mike hold his new best friend for life in his hands and shed tears of joy (I’m totally predicting the waterworks from him . . . and myself). And importantly . . . one month until I can have a dirty martini and a sushi roll and sleep on my stomach and not pee every 15 seconds . . . and have everyone look at my eyes first rather than my stomach when they address me .
I never was one that desperately wanted a child . . . and sometimes I feel really guilty that it was so easy for us to expand our family. Some of our friends have had the hardest times and so much heartache . . . it’s just really unfair. In the beginning I felt so guilty and was so sick that I tried to ignore it . . . and brush it off. I also had a really tough time coming to terms that my perfect life that Mike and I have worked so hard for was going to be . . . different. But here we are . . . weeks . . . possibly days away.
I have no clue what type of mother I’ll be. I don’t know if I’ll be the good cop or the bad cop (my money is on the bad) . . . I don’t know if I’m going to be overbearing or relaxed . . . but I do know that I’m going to try my best and hopefully that will be good enough.
In this last month I am going to try to spend AT LEAST 30 minutes laying on the new hammock I bought for the Jamestown house . . . while watching the sailboats go by (and will be banking that moment for when I need to focus on something peaceful during labor). I’m going to go see We are the Millers at the movie theater . . . because I know you can’t make it to the movies that often with a little one and I heard its hilarious. I’m going to get my nails done at least twice (its pretty comical to watch me try to paint my own toenails at this point). I’m going to finish the nursery . . . pack my bag . . . and make Mike finally agree on 2 boys names and 2 girls names that will be coming with us to the hospital. I’m going to continue to work out every day because it makes me happy and less stressed. I’m going to wrap up everything I possibly can at work so that I have less to worry about when I’m working from home. I’m going to take a few loooonnnnngggg showers (just because I can) and am going to wear all of my maternity clothes at least one more time. I’m going to enjoy the last few moments when I’m the person in our house that Mike loves the most. 🙂 I’m sure I’ll think of others . . . but that’s my list for now.
Jenna Wolfe wrote a blog post on Today.com about her birthing experience . . . she called it “soul-shaking”. Maybe that’s another reason why its taken me so long to get really excited and fully accepting of this little person joining our life . . . how can you possibly predict your feelings . . . or imagine your life after . . . or prepare for . . . a “soul-shaking” event to happen that you’ve never experienced before? I guess this month we shall see . . .